It's April, which means wedding season is upon us. If you already
know that, not because you're a bride-to-be but because you're knee-deep in
bridesmaid commitments, you also know how stressful it can be to be in a wedding party.
here, we tapped
Eimear Lynch, a five-time bridesmaid and author
of the book "The Bridesmaids: True Tales of Love, Envy, Loyalty...and
Terrible Dresses," for her guidelines to get you through the process.
1. Always agree with the bride
It doesn't matter whether she has asked for your opinion on her
dress, your dress or the flowers. All she really wants is blanket approval for
everything she has planned, from the equestrian-themed shower to her quirky
Sophia Webster wedding shoes. "Well, I love it!" is all you ever need
2. Lean in
There's nothing worse than being trapped in an e-mail chain with a
bunch of bridesmaids masking passive-aggressive suggestions with XOXOs.
Everyone will (eventually) thank you for taking charge when it comes to
planning a drama-free shower or bachelorette part.
3. Make friends
Yes, interbridesmaid alliances will help you get your way in
stalemates over bachelorette venue or shower gifts, but those bridesmaids and
groomsmen (and wedding laypeople too, I guess) are also future friends,
co-workers or boyfriends.
4. Sweat the small stuff
You read that right. Weddings are high-stress and ultra-emotional,
and a blowout fight can be triggered by something as simple as a mention of the
bride's eligible ex-boyfriend. Speak carefully as the wedding draws near, and
keep even quieter on the day itself.
5. Pick up the phone
Eighty percent of pre-wedding drama could be avoided if people
spoke on the phone instead of sending snippy, insensitive texts and e-mails. If
you need to tell the bride something potentially upsetting (such as "I
can't make it to your eighth shower" or "We cannot have your
bachelorette party in the Seychelles"), do it on the phone or in person.
6. Try it on, try it on, try it on
You might not want to wear your bridesmaid dress for one extra
second, but you should. You'll probably get the dress months before the
wedding, and there's a chance you'll gain or lose weight in the lead-up to the
big day. I have been privy to a few sewed-into-the-dress situations, and I can
tell you they're far from ideal.
7. Consider your updo
So you just sat down with your friend's hometown hairstylist. Say,
"Do whatever you like!" and you'll end up with prom hair pinned with
baby's breath. Instead, bring an inspiration photo and be specific about what
you want (and don't want). Same goes for makeup.
8. Remember, this isn't even A LITTLE BIT
Hate your hairstyle? Dislike your dress? Grossed out by the
groomsmen? You can keep all that to yourself, because your job is marvelously
simple: Support and celebrate the bride and her groom.
9. Drink responsibly
Before you have that sixth glass of Sauvignon Blanc, think ahead
to your place in the wedding album. Do you want to be immortalized in a damp
bridesmaid dress with a half-undone bun and tear-streaked makeup? If so, order
10. Have a ball
This is the one time you'll get to indulge in all-out celebration
of your sister or dear friend. And you'll do it over lunch, drinks, dinner, and
dancing with some people you love (and, sure, some you detest). Why not try to